Spank the kids, go to jail. Finally an end to war.
According to California Democratic Assemblywoman Sally Lieber spanking, hitting and/or slapping a child under 4 years of age victimizes the helpless little terror and, like so many things these days, including transfats I’m sure, leads to violence in society.
If she has her way she’ll have the government come and get you and slap you in your room in the slammer for a year to think about it and charge you a grand for the pleasure.
But she’s a conscientious Assemblywoman, Ms. Lieber is, because she doesn’t want wanton ne’er-do-well parents to have a really bad black mark next to their names and is only classifying the offense as a misdemeanor. A grey mark perhaps, if you will.
I can see it now. Junior or Junioretta bust a tantrum and out comes the belt. But wait…a year in the pokey away from the precious precocious one gives us pause. And in doing so, we thwart the forward march to societal violence, thus negating the escalation to cultural violence and thereby nipping international violence in the bud.
Single handedly, California (Where it all begins) Democratic Assemblywoman Sally Lieber has brought peace to the world.
No more raised two finger vee shaped signals of solidarity. Quashed will be the dreams of future Miss America contestants who will have to come up with some other dream for the betterment of the human race.
Gone, too, will be the myriad Christmas greetings of Peace on Earth (Good Will Toward Men will most likely be left to some future Assemblyperson).
The anatomically correct Mercedes Benz insignia will be retired once and for all.
I don’t even want to think about what will happen to the environmentally active organization known for sending rubber rafts lurching at megalithic ocean vessels’ name. Will it become GreenCalm? GreenPleasant? Peace will have been achieved so they’ll have to adopt another moniker to keep up with the times.
Mercy me, what’ll happen to the Peace Corps? To say nothing of the Marine Corps.
No war? No armed forces. No armed forces, no G.I. Joe dolls. Toys R Us will go bust. So will Hallmark and American Greetings and their ilk from dwindling sales of greeting cards at Yuletide.
In no time the economic downturn will be spread virtually worldwide and poverty will most assuredly ensue from all the peace roiling around. And we all know lack of funds creates angry desperate people who might stop at nothing to satisfy their needs. They might even become physical in their quest for solvency. They may even purchase the discounted surplus weaponry abandoned by the now extinct military. And use it. On we law abiding mothers and fathers who no longer spank their children for their infractions of the moral code.
And all because of some California Assemblywoman’s lame attempt to criminalize our inherent parental controls over our own errant progeny. All because an elected official was most probably spanked a little too zealously when she was a toddler and now, with elective power in her hands, she has found a platform to dispense retribution.
Payback’s a bitch.
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